Welcome back to Faith Friday again!
I want to share a message with you that I shared at the Outer Banks Tiny House Festival last weekend.
I want to talk to you about a lie I’ve been telling myself. That lie is if you work hard, you will achieve success and then you’ll get contentment. One leads to the other which leads to the other. That is a lie I’ve been telling myself.
Interestingly enough, some people have studied this and they discovered that if you work from a place of contentment first (and that is a thing) you will be 37% more efficient and creative. I’ll take that 37%, what about you? Did you know that you can start from contentment and you can work and achieve from contentment instead of chasing contentment?
We talk about the pursuit of happiness. I can talk about the pursuit of a lemon, but I don’t need to – because I have a lemon. I can talk about the pursuit of an apple, but I don’t need to – because I have an apple. See where I’m going with this? We can talk about the pursuit of happiness, but the only thing we are doing is proving to ourselves that we’re not happy today. You don’t pursue something you already have. If you’re content, you’re not in pursuit of anything.
There are two key skills to living in contentment
LETTING GO
You start small with physical things and then you get to an intermediate level which are soul things and then you develop into spiritual level letting go. What’s true in the physical realm is true in the spiritual realm. So let me give you an example.
- So I looked down the other day, my hand, I was holding an ugly fork. What? No! Let it go! It went directly into the donation box. That was a super easy kind of letting go.
- I had a food processor, I researched and bought the best one, cost me $400 and we didn’t even use it much in the restaurant. And then I didn’t use it for the next five years either. I was having trouble letting go. Number one, I spent a lot of money on it. Number two, I might need it someday. I recently donated it to our sweet little Mennonite church and last weekend they used that food processor to create cole slaw for 300 people! Yay for letting go!
- Recently we also let go of the piano that I grew up playing. For years, that was my way of praying. To sit at the keys and simply play. Naturally the instrument means something to me. It also means something to the guy we’re giving it to. He is a recording artist and an amazing talent. It’s exactly the right place for my old piano. And again, this is developing the skill of letting go.
What if I let go of something on a soul level like:
- self neglect or
- materialism or
- self limiting beliefs. That’s a big one, right?
So let’s take this into the spiritual realm. What if I let go of:
- comparison and
- judgment and
- fear and
- bitterness?
If I didn’t have those things in my life, do you think maybe there’d be a little bit more room for contentment? Yeah, big time!
HOLDING ON
There’s another skill that’s really important to contentment and that’s what I choose to hold on to.
- I hold onto my ring, my wedding ring. This is a symbol to me of the marriage I have with this handsome, brilliant husband of mine who I have found late in life and who’s been so kind to me that he’s changed my world.
- I hold on to the piano that my husband gave me for Christmas one year. It is a Steinway Concert Grand. And let me tell you, that is a treasure to me. He gave me a personal and beautiful gift!
- I recently went to an auction house and saw a room size silk Persian rug. It’s the sort of rug that would take a one woman three to five years to create. And I really respect that kind of craftsmanship. I love oriental rugs. I was able to get that rug for way below what it’s worth. There were no rug dealers in the room to make the price go up where it should have been. So I walked home with an amazing treasure. Oriental rugs are women’s work. I don’t know if you knew that or not, but I respect the craftsmanship represented there.
- I also treasure the books that my friends have written. Many of them have a little note written in the front with their signature addressing the book to me and I respect and honor what it takes to write a book so those are treasures to me.
Well, what about on a soul level? I hold on to:
- my values.
- I hold one to my focus and that’s sometimes pretty hard because I’ve got that whole ADD thing going on.
- I hold onto my husband, my dog, and my family because they mean the world to me.
Well, let’s take this to a spiritual realm. Here are three things I hold on to for all I’m worth:
- gratitude,
- generosity, and
- gentleness.
You know, if I am grateful for my life and for the things in my life and the people and all of the aspects of my life, I won’t actually have space in here for things like comparison, judgment, fear and bitterness. That’s just how it works. It’s amazing and gratitude is one of those things that leads to contentment.
Generosity is the same sort of thing. The more I hold on to generosity, the more I can meet needs around me instead of being selfish and self focused.
Gentleness is amazing, especially in a culture where compassion has gone out of style. Gentleness and compassion are absolutely world changing things to hold onto for all we are worth.
If I hold onto this apple for all I’m worth, it naturally means I’m going to lose my grip on that lemon. You can’t hold on to gratitude and generosity in gentleness for all your worth and still keep some of that other stuff. It’s just not going to work. And that’s good news.
There is a verse that has been on a loop in my spirit lately:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” And this is a beautiful thing because we all have mindsets that need renewing. (Romans 12:2 NIV)
Here is a different translation:
“Don’t become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what God wants from you and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings out the best in us, developed, well-formed maturity in us.” (Romans 12: 2 MSG)
Spiritual maturity is a place of gentleness, gratitude, and generosity.
What are you holding on to?
Are the things you are holding on to worthy of their place in your life? You can see what those things are by looking at your bank account. When you find what you want to hold on to, then you simply let go of the rest.
These are the keys to contentment.
Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it.
I cut my own hair. I have for years. I can’t count the times people have been shocked and wonder how on earth?!! Well… this video will answer that question. I had the camera rolling the last time I cut my hair and this is the result.
Once I started coloring my hair again, I have found that Young Living’s Lavender Mint shampoo and conditioner are my favorites by far! The shampoo takes some getting used to since it is SLS free – and that means it doesn’t bubble up. Sodium Laurel Sulfate is a toxin that is often used to make those “scrubbing bubbles” and when it’s not in the shampoo – it just feels strange since it’s not what we’re used to. But it leaves my hair clean, and that’s the important thing.
My favorite is the Young Living conditioner – the Lavender Mint. That stuff is remarkable for healing hair after bleach and dye! It works better than some VERY expensive brands (ahem Olaplex) and it’s non-toxic. WIN!
This truth has been rocking my world this week. I didn’t realize the connection between letting go in a simple physical way – like opening my hand – is the same skill as letting go of stuff I don’t use – is the same skill as letting go of what other people think of me… or envy, or judgment. I’m not there yet, on those last three… but I know my life will be more content if I decide to grow my letting go muscle.
Where do I start? I sat down yesterday and wrote a whole brainstorm whiteboard full of ideas that were about letting go and self care. From that board I picked out 32 favorites. Then I decided to go after those things – one each day for every day of June. It’ll be 31 days (I picked my favorites) of self care and it’s all stuff that I know I can do. If you’d like to join in on the fun, then connect with me on Instagram 
Here’s an example: I know I should do the whole thing of going to the gym, working my bum off, and getting in shape. See? There’s that little word “should” that gets me every time. Could+Shame=Should. No thanks!! I have a negative reaction to the word “exercise”. (I can’t believe I’m confessing this!) LOL! However, I love very physical activities like dancing and cleaning out a closet, and painting, and walking around the neighborhood with my dawg who loves to stop and smell everything! Funny, those are all examples of exercise, but don’t tell. Because I want to be a person who exercises… and I want to do yoga and be thin and willowy and yada yada, but I’m not. That COULD change. (See how I took the shame out by changing “should” to “could”?)
Do you have a message the world needs? It’s simpler than ever to write a book and share it with the world, but the marketing part of things can be a little overwhelming. And truth be told, most books – even from the Big Five publishers – sell an average of 200 copies. None of us want that after we’ve invested so much in writing a book. And just to be clear, I’m not what I’d call a successful author. I did a lot of things wrong with my first book and there are some mistakes I won’t make again – and maybe I’ll make a whole new set of mistakes with my next book. I’m a work in progress, we all are. I do know some things NOT to do… and believe me – that’s important information!
My cute little book is ready for the world today, and I’m so pleased to make it available far and wide. This has been a long time coming! 
I had an idea that I wanted to create a tiny house with food. I tried it first with Photoshop and hated how it turned out. So I went shopping and brought home all the prettiest produce. I started carving and placing, and again… it just wasn’t working. My handsome husband came home and looked around at the mess I was making. And before you know it I had sucked him in! He was there with his pocket knife working on getting the pieces structured so they would stay where I wanted them. There was no professional food people putting shellac, no cardboard – it was just us two crazy people in the kitchen having a fantastic time playing with our food! And then he even created a little doggie with the radish – using the root of the radish for the tail of the dog! I was delighted! I snapped some photos and look how it turned out?! I love it! I’m so pleased the book designer liked it enough to use it!
The back cover was almost as fun. There were many conversations between the designer and the publisher to get each detail right. I love the little kitchen graphic at the bottom with the ISBN code, the QR code, and the logo of the publisher. It was so fun to see the designer and publisher working out every detail with the faucet, saucepan – even the handle on the fridge door!
But that’s not all! There are quotes on the back from people I admire very much. I’ll tell ya, when the publisher sent off books to folks to have them read and respond – that’s a nerve wracking process! But look what happened?! 
I actually feel a little bashful that they liked my book and wrote such glowing reviews. Honestly, it was a true joy to read what they wrote and know that they really did understand what I was trying to do with this little book. I am so blessed!
Reading this book is a little bit like cleaning out the car. While the tasks of scrubbing, vacuuming and polishing might not be that much fun – enjoying the new sparkle in your ride makes it all worth it. (So go on, get on with it!) I suppose that’s the tough thing, nobody wants to be looking at all the changes that need to be made, but being on the other side having made those changes – Ahhhh! Bliss! Oh, BTW, I’m talking about Jenn Baxter’s new book,
Being proactive makes all the difference. I know I feel better when I avoid gluten, dairy, and sugar (I also look better). I love my hair color and nail polish, but I know they are loaded with toxins. I feel better when I’ve taken time to quiet my spirit in meditation or prayer. Every time I clean out my tiny house or my office – I love how much lighter and brighter those spaces feel. Every time I take another load of unneeded stuff to my favorite thrift store, I feel lighter and more free. I have made a lot of progress on these fronts but this book inspires me to get back at it (without being preachy or holier than thou). I have not been taking care of myself lately and reading Jenn’s book has reminded me of how important it is.